Sleep/Diet Dystrophy
Thursday–Friday I did too much adderall/monster + did not sleep. I fried my brain and was too wired to sleep. I ate a box of donuts. I watched porn. I slept in the following day. Ate some more donuts. Watched a movie. Paced in my room engaging in fantasies and doom-scrolling. Started work at 9pm. Will not sleep tonight. Feel guilt in order to change. This is part of the transformation. The burning off of dead wood. I must become something new again. Destruction is creation.