04/30/2026
A little blue pill. A swirl of neurochemical activation. Maelstrom of ideas and ambition. A force twirling towards life-before settling in a sad resolution.
I dream of Ava’s perfect lips. Her divine golden hair. Her crystal voice.
I hate who I am. My soft body, my floating will. My incongruent thoughts. My melancholic tendencies. Somehow in cheer i find myself most repulsive.
Floating geomteric shapes. A rose dripping with dew. Dark corners. A tiny worm travels along its edges. I feel latent. An impending disappointment. A tiger without a chest. Words without meaning. Thoughts without direction. A vigorous twirling symphony. No heaven for strive for. My protective jaded thoughts. I want to put my arm around Ava-and fall asleep. But in the afterworld there is no sleep. No women. Only paintings. Nothing real. The rain falls only in memories. And i kiss my hallucinations. Have I learned it all. Are there venues yet unexplored. Are there chasms still holding diamonds. Am I still here?